How transformation happens

Even though we want change, we also naturally resist it: our nervous systems are wired for homeostasis, not disruption. That’s why transformation isn’t something we push ourselves into. It’s something we create the conditions for and then allow.

Change emerges naturally when we are both aware and accepting. Cue mindfulness: a state of relaxed, nonjudgmental awareness.

Early in life, we develop a kind of internal map: what we expect from relationships, what’s possible, how to protect ourselves, how to belong, how to manage disappointment. These maps - made of deeply embedded beliefs, impulses, emotions, and habits - were adaptive in childhood, but often limit us in adulthood.

These maps form a windshield through which we unconsciously interpret our lives. Mindfulness allows us to study this otherwise-invisible windshield. When we study our experience as it unfolds without trying to change it, the maps begin to reveal themselves.

As they do, we gain more choice. We don’t have to abandon our old strategies. But we’re no longer confined by them. New ways of being become available.

What makes my approach unique

My approach is rooted in Hakomi, an experiential method of assisted self-discovery developed by Ron Kurtz. Hakomi is informed by systems theory, developmental psychology, neuroscience, and contemplative traditions like Buddhism and Taoism.

At its heart, Hakomi is not about fixing something that’s “broken.” It’s about creating the conditions for you to remember your innate wholeness and wisdom, and to support your unfolding.

Here’s how that happens:

We go beyond insight.
Rather than just talking about what’s happening, we slow down and explore your real-time, embodied experience. This lets us discover the automatic beliefs, strategies, feelings, thoughts, and emotions that shape your reactions, relationships, and choices.

Mindfulness is the key.
We create a quiet, internal space where deeper material, that is not accessible through thinking or talking, can surface organically. If we wanted to see an animal in its natural habitat, we wouldn't go looking for it. We would go to a place where it might be, get really quiet, and watch what happens.

We follow rather than force.
This process is not about fixing or imposing. We trust that when we create the right conditions - curiosity, safety, loving attention - and support what wants to unfold, your system will naturally move toward balance, integration, and growth.

We respect unconscious wisdom.
Our stuck places developed for a reason. Instead of confronting or bypassing them, we meet them with curiosity and care. This non-coercive stance allows transformation to emerge organically, without force.

The body leads.
Our bodies are living expressions of our inner worlds. We listen to your body’s cues - posture, gestures, breath, impulses, sensations - as a way of accessing the beliefs beneath our conscious awareness. words alone can’t touch.

Real change happens through new experiences.
Transformation requires more than understanding. It requires experiencing something different. In this work, you may find yourself having the kind of experience that was missing when you needed it most. These moments can reshape how you relate to yourself and others from the inside out by rewiring neural pathways and reconsolidating implicit memories.

Real change happens in a real relationship.
While the coaching relationship is a contractual one, it is also a real relationship. I only work with clients who I am genuinely inspired by. Pain and patterns and assumptions created in relationships need to be resolved in relationship so I believe this is essential.

If this resonates

If something in you feels curious or seen, I’d love to connect. Whether you’re feeling stuck, seeking clarity, or sensing that something in your life wants to shift, this work can support you in returning to your most authentic self.